As I think about these words, my eyes begin to heat and throat constricts. Regardless of place, the people that I interact with are the primary source of value in my life, and to slowly see the distance lengthening between myself and those sources is difficult to take. I say to myself, “it’s difficult to make time right now” and as I’m interacting with my friends after work, stopping at Talhatu’s to chat and touch the fabrics, chilling with Arimiyaw and listening to music off of our cell phones, or playing that crazy motorcycle video game with Rafik, I, in the back of my mind, hate that I am not simultaneously making time for those equivalent people in other places.
Or when I sit in Convo Mall talking about perceptions of First Nations’ with Renato and eating beef stew on a brisk spring day with Emily, or make chocolate chip banana bread on a school night with Grace, the time zone stretches in front of me and the school work pans out around me and reaching out of these confines is like trying to blow feathers through molasses, where it seems so futile at the outset that my efforts are stifled from the start.
And so my friends call, on occasion, but with no adequate response I’m left wondering how to maintain and mend relationships from either side of a phone line where explaining the conception of my life as it currently stands seems impossible and inadequate.